


When You Are Gone(I Await Your Return)

by ricca



Series: Stories Not Told In The Two Films [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-17 20:06:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1400806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ricca/pseuds/ricca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock returns from a mission during which his ship and he had been captured.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I obviously do not own star trek or any of it's characters.

Jim shut his eyes, making an effort of will to hold back his tears as he thought about Admiral Barnett’s comm. call from five days ago, informing him about the capture of the science vessel USS Galena by Klingons, and the admiral assuring him that all efforts were being made to get it's crew back in a sad but solemn tone, no doubt knowing that after losing Pike and being resurrected four months ago, this news would not do him any favours. In fact, he was surprised that Bones had even allowed him to take the call, knowing that it could only worry him.

Yet five days after that call there was no news of the vessel and he didn’t even know whether Spock was alive or was dead—no Spock wouldn’t die easily; or at least Jim couldn’t contemplate that thought, it was unimaginable. The better question was whether Spock was uninjured or not.

_Damn it, Spock. You are not leaving me alone,_ Jim thought, opening his eyes and looking at the reflection of the moon and ship lights in the San Francisco Bay through the glass wall, the only lighting which illuminated the bedroom.

Jim clutched the pillow he was hugging hard, thinking that if he wasn’t still on mandatory medical leave then the Enterprise would be flying in space along with his crew and Spock, and then Spock wouldn’t have been on that damned vessel to begin with. It was all his fault. He drifted of to sleep.

~~><~~><~~><~~<#>~~><~~><~~><~~

“Jim?”Jim opened his eyes and stared up at familiar brown eyes. Jim had just begun smiling when he saw the affection in those eyes be replaced by grief. Jim heard a weird drip-drip sound but ignored it in favour of saying, “Spock? What’s wrong?” as worry took over. “Jim, forgive me T’hy’la, I cannot stay by your side. I cannot keep my promise.”

Jim snapped upright and put his hands on Spock’s face. “Spock…what are you…” and then Jim looked down and saw the stain on Spock’s white shirt over his abdomen and several similar stain’s all over his shirt. NO…it couldn’t be…that was not…“Computer, lights to 60 percent.” Jim commanded. He blinked, blinded for a second by the sudden lights and then looked and there it was, green coloured patches. Blood Stains. Horror filled Jim as he realised that the drip-drip sound had been that of blood dripping to the tiled floor. "Spock, why are you not in a hospital?” Jim said, his tone ringing with panic.

“It was too late, T’hy’la. I wanted to see you one last time.”Spock said,smiling, and crumpled over Jim in the next moment.

“Spock…SPOCK!!!” Jim said, shaking Spock, his eyes wide.

“No. No T’hy’la. You said you’d stay.”Jim sobbed, clutching Spock's shirt.

~~><~~><~~><~~<#>~~><~~><~~><~~

Jim woke up screaming in agony, his face and pillow wet with tears. He pushed the covers off him and sat up. Turning towards the door opposite to the glass wall, he dropped his head in his hands. Though these nightmares had been a frequent occurrence since Admiral Barnett’s call, they were only getting worse. Having no news only served to make his already rampant imagination create increasingly bad scenarios.

But really, it was all his fault. It wasn’t some misplaced guilt making him think that way. He knew that even if he wasn’t sick, the Enterprise still had many more months of repair required before it was in space. No it was his fault because the admiralty had _**asked**_ Spock whether he wanted to go on that mission— not ordered, because even they could see that after staying by Jim’s bedside for the duration of his coma and afterwards as well, he would probably not want to be separated from his Captain, and while not all of the Brass was happy with their fledgling romantic relationship, they neither had any legal grounds to prohibit it as both were of close rank nor would they censure the two who had saved the hides of so many people including all of the Admiralty. Again. It would be bad for PR after all, plus all of them were not ungrateful sons of bitches.

Spock had predictably been about to refuse the mission, but Jim had convinced him to go, not wanting to hold Spock back, because a purely scientific mission would be something his curious half-Vulcan Science Officer would love. Apparently Jim wasn’t the only one for whom routine missions went south. Heh. Next time Spock tried to prevent Jim from going on an away mission stating that “From previous instances, I have calculated the probability of you getting injured or kidnapped or otherwise harmed on missions which by definition should provide neither of these, at 92.5437 percent, Captain.” Jim would remind him that it was not only him who attracted danger, but Spock also. But would there be a next time? What if his XO never returned, or turned up in a body bag? What if—

Just then he heard his name whispered in the dark, so quietly that he almost believed that he had imagined it. With an amount of hope and desperation he had never felt before, he snapped his head up from his hands and looked at the door. And there in the shadows was the unmistakable tall and slender silhouette of his T'hy'la. Jim watched warily as Spock walked towards him—afraid that it may again be a dream again. Or a nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock. And sexy times(though I'm not sure whether they are actually good)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Telsu means bonded. I consider it bondmate, so telsu=bondmate. 
> 
> Also, i need a beta reader. Anyone free?

Jim looked up as Spock's knees touched the edge of the bed fitting in the space created by Jim's knees. "Spock?" Jim asked in an unsure hoarse whisper.

 _"Jim”_ Spock replied, realising his T’hy’la’s need for confirmation that _yes, this **was** him._ But Spock noted that Jim sat stock still with an unconvinced and dumbstruck expression on his face. He cursed whatever stupidity possessed him, that he had not bonded with Jim. If he had, Jim would have at least known that he was alive—and would also recognise him now. There was no doubt in Spock’s mind that the events of the past five days had worried his love. Though that would be, as Jim would put it, ‘an understatement’.

Well then, the only logical solution was the one that would show Jim that he was real and was not going to disappear—and would also fulfil his desire for physical contact with his love. Deciding on a course of action, Spock planted his hands on both sides of Jim on the bed, bent over, and kissed Jim on the back of his neck, breathing in his lover's scent, which reminded him of warm ocean winds on a sunny day.

Jim unfroze slowly as he felt Spock kiss his neck, sending sparks tingling through his nerves, and basked in the warmth produced on his neck by the air Spock exhaled over it. He felt warmed to his core.

Finally, Jim believed that he was neither dreaming nor delirious, because ever since his love had left on that mission two and a half months ago, he had felt an unending coldness which persisted in even scalding showers.

"Spock..."Jim choked out. He reached out and buried his face in Spock's shirt over his stomach, as one arm snaked it's way around Spock's torso and the other settled over Spock's side to feel his heartbeat. Spock put his arms around his T'hy'la's shoulders, embracing him tighter and burying his face in Jim's hair. Finally each could feel, hold the other again.

A small corner of Jim's brain was curious as to how Spock had come back safely and whether he at least informed the admirals who were searching for him everywhere that he was safe. That part was easily forgotten as a strong emotion of giddiness took over that _**finally** , finally T'hy'la is here._

Their clothes were violently divested from their persons and flung across the floor for they committed the grievous crime of obstructing the two from being as close as two people physically can be.

Jim fell back on the bed, dragging Spock along with him. Their mouths collided, lips parting to allow tongues to enter and reacquaint themselves with their second home, the flavour of that home.

Their hands roamed everywhere, desperate to feel. Jim's hand lingered over Spock's left shoulder blade where there was a new scar tissue, but then continued it's journey downwards, over his vertebrae, clutching his hip bone and finally at the curve of his ass, holding tightly enough to bruise—as though he could ensure Spock's perpetual presence by sheer physical strength.

Spock mapped Jim's body with both his hands. He ran his palms over Jim's sides and stomach, his fingers feeling the flat planes and sharp drops of Jim's abs. His hands moved up and spread out over Jims chest, his thumbnails grazing Jim's nipples.

As the desperate feeling to _touch everywhere, touch **now**_ ebbed, raw arousal took over. Spock caught hold of Jim's hands with both of his own and brought them level with Jim's head, as he left Jim's mouth to bite and lick his T'hy'la's clavicle, causing Jim's breathing to hitch and become irregular.

Jim turned his head and caught and sucked the pointed tip of Spock's left ear, making him tremble and gasp with pleasure. Spock went lower and licked his T'hy'la's nipples, planning on licking and biting all the way to Jim's full-fledged erection even while ignoring his own. However Jim wasn't as patient, especially as, at the moment, he was supremely disinclined to delay his release and the urge to become one with his love was the strongest prevalent desire in his thought processes.

Jim started frotting against Spock's erection and tugged Spock's hair. When Spock finally looked up after another sharp tug—he really did not want to get his mouth and nose away from his Jim—Jim locked his eyes with Spock and in an unbroken tone—which he didn't know he was capable of—said,"Spock, unless you want me to come by myself, fuck me now. "

Spock growled and reached over to the bedside table. Pulling out a lube from a drawer, he tipped some over into his hand and proceeded to prepare Jim as fast as he could, scissoring and thrusting his fingers into Jim's hole, as Jim moaned and writhed. Finally he deemed Jim prepared.

He levelled his dick with Jim's hole and buried himself to the hilt in one thrust. They stayed like that for a moment relishing in the feeling of being joined once more. Then Spock started moving, drilling hard, finding Jim's prostate with each thrust. Jim moaned with abandon, the sounds resounding around the room, accompanied by Spock's gasps and groans, both getting closer to release with each thrust.

Spock looked at his T'hy'la and realised that he did not want to waste any more time in making Jim his _telsu_. Unless Jim refused, that is.

"Jim, may I meld with you?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: " Ashayam, sos tel-tor k'tu" " Beloved, may i bond with you?"  
> Taken from the vulcan language dictionary. 
> 
> When the bonding is taking place, 'words written in italics' are said mentally and "words written in bold " are said aloud.

Once Jim had, at last, believed that it actually was his T'hy'la who was standing in front of him, he had wanted to show him how relieved he was, how worried he had been, how much he had despaired, how happy, elated he was—because no words in any of the languages he knew were enough to describe that. And he knew a lot of languages.

However, he had refrained from doing so; did not ask Spock to meld them, because he wasn't sure if Spock was mentally strong enough to deal with the rampant storm of emotions swirling within him.

But now Spock was asking—requesting permission in an unsure way, which was strange considering Jim had long ago given him permission to meld with him at any time and also because Jim would never refuse a meld. In fact he was rather partial to melds.

So instead of saying yes, Jim locked his half-lidded eyes with Spock's and brought their tangled hands to his face, leaving Spock's hand there, then taking his hand away to place them on an approximation of Spock's meld points.

Spock's unsure expression was replaced with one of wondrous and reverential love. He entered Jim's mind, the layout bright and beautiful and was engulfed by the amusement, relief, happiness and unquantifiable love that Jim felt in relation to him, which warmed him as he had been when he would meditate under the Vulcan sun.

But there were also shadows lurking around and on inspection, Spock found them to be formed due to fear and guilt. The fear seemed to stem from the thought of having to live without Spock and was disappearing, now that Spock was here. The guilt, however—guilt that he was the one who had asked Spock to leave, all his fault that Spock had been led to almost certain death at worst and torture at best—that seemed to stay constant, if not increasing.

Spock brought light back to them with his own love for his Jim and said _'Jim, you are not at fault. You were thinking of my happiness, Ashayam. It is nobody's fault.'_ Then trying to make his T'hy'la laugh he said, _'Except the Klingons maybe. You can blame them if you want.'_ And he succeeded because he felt Jim's amusement surround him in gentle waves and saw the guilt dissipate till only traces were left. Traces which Spock would later erase.

But for now he had an aim in mind.

' _Ashayam,sos tel-tor k'tu?’_ Spock said. He felt Jim become euphoric as a "yes" resounded around him in Jim's mind.

With permission acquired, he dove deeper into Jim's mind, going past each layer with giving it a second thought—he had seen most of it already and the other thoughts, though fascinating, were irrelevant at this moment.

No, what he wanted at this time was the was innermost part of Jim's very being, his very soul. And on finding that, he intended to join that part of Jim with the corresponding part of himself; bind them, so they may always be together even when they were not, so that unlike their bodies, which could not touch interminably, their very souls would be always be joined, each always touching the other.

Once he reached his destination Jim's voice surrounded him once again, _'I missed you, T'hy'la. Never leave me again, even if I say so.' 'Never Jim, I will always stay with you. '_

 **"Parted from me and never parted,"** Spock recited aloud.

_'I thought you were dead Spock. Had to keep on believing you were alive so that I wouldn't think that I might never kiss you, never touch you again.' 'I feared the same, Jim. Once i realised that I may never be with you again, I decided to apply every mental and physical faculty possessed by me in order to escape.’_

**"Never and always touching and touched. "**

Jim's metaphysical form appeared beside Spock and they watched their mindscapes merge for a moment that was an eternity and too short simultaneously. Then they relapsed into their original state, however now they were connected and their bond pulsed with their presence, their thoughts and their love for each other. That pushed them of the edge into the supernova of their compounded pleasure and joy.

Jim climaxed, breathless, his back arching away from the bed and his muscles clenching around Spock as three strings of ejaculate shot out into the air, falling near his navel.

Spock stilled, shuddering as he released hot semen into his lover's body in four spurts. He pulled out his cock from Jim's body and bent down to lick the cum off Jim's skin.

Both of them were tired and combined with the comfort of feeling the other's love pulsing through the bond they soon went to sleep, Jim lying on top of Spock, with Spock's arm over him. Neither of them had slept this comfortably since Spock had left 80 terran days earlier. 

~~><~~><~~><~~<#>~~><~~><~~><~~

Jim woke up with the uncomfortable feeling of dried cum up his ass. The sun hadn't completely risen and he cursed because after the past few days of sleep depriviation he just really, really wanted to sleep. As he shifted about uncomfortably he woke Spock too, who feeling Jim's discomfort and the reason behind said discomfort, proceeded to pick him up bridal-style and take him to the shower, where they repeated last night's activities.

It was as Spock was running a towel through his wet hair and licking a stray drop of water off his clavicle that Jim remembered about the Admirals.

"Umm…Spock, did you inform the Admirals that you escaped the Klingon vessel that held you captive after incapcitating all the Klingon's onboard—which was very badass by the way? It would be a waste of resources if they were still searching for you. "

Spock just gave Jim an eyebrow raise which conyeved, 'Do you really think I would do something illogical like not informing them atleast?'

Picking up Jim's unasked question as much through the bond as from his expression Spock said, "Contrary to what you think, the admiral's do not hate you. Therefore realising that you would benefit from my presence, they decided to postpone any debriefings until I had met you first. "

'Apparently they also thought that you would be intolerably impatient in the hour it would take me to reach you, so they decided not to inform you. ' Spock sent through the bond, and got a response of amusement coloured with love, as they fell back into the bed and his T'hy'la once again went back to sleep.

Spock had meetings with the admirals in the afternoon which were supposed to include Jim as well, so that he could give them a detailed account of the five days for which he was in captivity and his actions during them. However for now he was free and all he wanted to do was to watch his lover as he reposed, snuggling into Spock with a peaceful expression on his face, contentment, happiness and love being the general feedback from the bond.


End file.
